How To Seduce A Woman Or A Girl

Warning: The technique you’re about to learn rouses obsessive feelings in women. Please use this sparingly and responsibly.

The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard lived a short and tormented life. However, in his scant life he managed to found Existentialism. (That’s the school of thought that drove thousands of French kids to dress in black, smoke Turkish cigarettes, and drink coffee while contemplating the angst of living a meaningless existence into the wee hours of the morning.)

He also unearthed a cornucopia of seduction secrets and revealed them in his largely autobiographical book The Seducer’s Diary. Because this is a short letter, we’ll only explore one. One that’s devastatingly powerful.

In the book, Johannes sets out to seduce Cordelia Wahl. He begins by observing her: she’s always alone reading literature or philosophy. He extrapolates that she rarely – if ever – connects with people on the subjects that interest her.

Johannes does something cunning: He piques her interest by talking about literature. Her eyes go wide, ears perk up, and body brims with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Then ten clock ticks later, he brings his poetical musings to a halt and discusses agronomics with Cordelia’s aunt. This hurls the young girl into coma of boredom. She has no interest in or knowledge of agriculture.

When she’s on the precipice of wanting to rip out his heart, he stirs her with a poem. Those warm fuzzy feelings return but triple in intensity.

With the caprice of an ADD child, he turns the conversation back to farm life and instructs the aunt on the number of quarts of milk needed to produce a pound of butter.

She suspects he’s mocking her aunt, so she flashes him a smile. Unfazed, he returns it with a solemn stare and charges ahead with his lecture on milk churning.
The more infuriated she becomes, the more he entwines her into his web.

Let’s break down what Johannes did…

There are two parts:

One, he created a powerful vibe between the two of them.

Two, he used this vibe to seduce Cordelia.

Let’s start with the first part. What is Vibing? Vibing is when two people’s vibes are in sync. When vibing with a man, a woman’s focus of attention turns to the here and now, her protective guard thaws away, her body brims with a warm fuzzy feeling, and she thinks, “I like this guy. He’s cool.”

The two ingredients to vibing with others are emotional relevance and getting – understanding – the place the other person is coming from.

Johannes sparked the vibe with Cordelia by establishing a commonality with her – but not any ordinary commonality.

If you’ve spent time in the single scene trenches, you know that one of the best ways to vibe with a woman is to discover something you have in common with her.

Alas, most men end up, unknowingly, killing the vibe by pelting the woman with a series of weak commonalities.

A weak commonality attempts to demonstrate understanding of a woman by matching – usually disingenuously – her beliefs and values with a short approving response.

Maybe, for example, a woman says, “I love the movie Eat Prey Love,” and hapless Joe responds with, “Yeah… I love that movie too.”

Saying, “I love that movie too,” does nothing to demonstrate that he actually enjoyed, knows about, or has seen the movie.

If poor Joe keeps using weak commonalities, she’ll see him as a chamuyo – a man who lies through his pearly whites to get into a woman’s pants. There’s no harm is using a few weak commonalties. But bombarding a woman with them will hasten the conversation to a crippling end.

In contrast, Johannes used a strong commonality. A strong commonality shows a woman how an experience that holds emotional importance to her overlaps with one of yours. When you relate to something emotionally relevant to a woman, it ups your Prizability (value) in her eyes.

Let’s imagine that Joe responded with, “My friend said Eat, Pray, Love starts off in New York. I grew up there and have always been a huge Yankees fan. I went to my first game when I was twelve. I’ll never forget it. I caught a ball. In fact, I still have it.”

Joe failed to overlap his experience with what was emotionally relevant about the book to her. Instead, he hijacked her conversation topic to talk about something emotionally relevant to himself.

Joe could have established a strong commonality by saying, “Good movie. It reminded me of when I was living in India. My first few weeks in the ashram were hell: my mind kept racing and thinking about all my problems back home. But it began to quiet and I gained so much clarity and perspective on life.”

Joe could have disagreed with her and still established a strong commonality by saying, “I thought Elisabeth Eaves totally glamorized Bali in the book. It sucks. Trash strews the streets and the ‘enlightened ones’ are snake oil salesmen out to swindle your moolah.”

Both these answers create a powerful vibe because they are emotionally relevant to the woman and demonstrate an understanding of her world.

Another important part: The strength of the commonality correlates to the number of people the woman perceives as sharing it. If she thinks only a few people share it, you’re well on your way. If she thinks no one except the two of you share the experience, it will spark a profound vibe.

Let’s look at an example. If you meet a female gym rat at a bar, you could say, “The National Institute Of Health’s recommended Body Mass Index is way off for athletes.”

This establishes a strong commonality that probably no one in the bar shares.

How did Johannes exploit the powerful vibe he created to seduce Cordelia?

Here’s where the alchemy begins. He used a devastatingly powerful form of Push-Pull.

Push-Pull is the constant back-forth movement between sparking unresolved emotional tension and then releasing it. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.

To get a sense of where I’m going with this, think, for example, of your favorite junk food. Imagine restraining yourself from eating it for a month.

I’m willing to bet it would taste a thousand times yummier than before.

This emotional rollercoaster builds sexual arousal in women and compels them to chase you.

Johannes used a form of Push-Pull called Revealing & Concealing. The Revealing part emotionally Pulls the girl into you and the Concealing part emotionally Pushes her away.

When Johannes sprinkled dribs and drabs of literature into his conversations with Cordelia, he revealed his knowledge of a subject dear to her heart. (As you know, this sparked a powerful vibe by establishing a strong commonality.)

When he rashly changed the subject to farm life, he concealed his knowledge of literature and severed the connection he had with Cordelia. This whetted her desire to connect with him more.

Ideally, the concealing part should ooze irony and hint at sarcasm. When Johannes expounded on the ins-and-outs of agronomics with the zest of an ardent farmer, Cordelia suspected sarcasm. (Why would a young man take so much interest in farming?) But she wasn’t sure because through his entire lecture, he kept a straight face.

Remember: The key is to keep your sarcasm ambiguous.

Let’s look at some examples...

Let’s pretend you lived in Budapest for a few years and met a Hungarian girl at a bar in New York. She was yapping on and on about Hungarian culture and how she wanted to moved back.

You could say, “Oh my God. I lived in Budapest,” and talk about your experiences in Hungary. This would establish a strong commonality.

But if you wanted to put the seduction on overdrive you’d use some Revealing & Concealing by maybe saying, “Az épület Budapest gyönyörű.” (The buildings in Budapest are gorgeous.)

Inevitably, she’ll respond with, “Oh my God. I’m so impressed. Did you live there? Do you have family from there?”

Good. You’ve established a strong commonality. Now Push her away and sever the Budapest connection with, “No, I learned that from watching the cartoon network.”

She’ll suspect you’re putting her on. But she’ll try to get the vibe back by saying, “No way. You must’ve lived there.”

Keep your face sober as a judge and respond with, ”Nope. I’ve never been out of the U.S.” Then Pull her back in and reveal a bit more by maybe saying, “Hiányzik a jó zene és olcsó italok Dobez.” (I miss the good music and cheap drinks at Dobez.)

Now she knows you’ve spent time in Hungry because you’ve revealed that you’ve been to a popular nightclub in Budapest. This will double or triple her craving to connect and vibe with you about Hungry.

The revearse – concealing and then revealing – will reap a similar effect.

Imagine a girl asks you if you’ve ever read Nabokov’s Lolita. You could look at her quizickly and maybe say, “What’s that?”

She’ll patter, “It’s a story about a pedifile who falls in love with a little girl.”

Then Pull her in and reveal your knowledge of the book by saying, “Poor Humbert Humbert. He couldn’t control his carnal urges for Dolores Haze.” (These are the main characters from the book.)

She may say, “You’re an ass... I’ve been describing the book and you’ve already read it.”

However, this will increase her craving to connect with you over the book.

In this letter, you’ve learned a powerful vibing technique and one form of Push-Pull.

There are literally dozens of ways to vibe with a woman and forms of Push-Pull.

If you’d like to learn a plethora of other ways to vibe with women and forms of Push-Pull, check out my book Real World Seduction 2.0.

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And none of the techniques you’ll learn require good looks, money, or natural charm.

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Your Loyal Dating Coach,

 

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